And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
