but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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