i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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