Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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