I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just found puke in my bra..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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