1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
