I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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