I just saw a hot homeless man
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Randomize
