His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize