to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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