he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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