Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
