Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
