why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize