I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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