I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
