Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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