Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
