why didn't you poke me back
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
