i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
