that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Randomize
