my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
