i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
