Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
