That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
