It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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