If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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