i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
