Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
