I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
