Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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