omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
