Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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