woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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