And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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