My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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