She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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