at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
If I had your ass I would rule the world
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
