her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
