gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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