totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize