I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
