What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
