did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
