Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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