He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize