I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
