I am in a vortex of obligation.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
