Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
