I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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