i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
