she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
