Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
