You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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