I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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