Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
