He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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