Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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