Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
tell me about the fingering
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