it wasn't lemon gatorade
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
