Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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