Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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