Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
