I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
