I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
