So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize