sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
