Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My liver just had a heart attack.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
